I am going to depart from my normal topics to discuss something else, Fatherhood. This site is about the various forms of stewardship Christians are called to and this includes the stewardship of the name Father. God the Father existed through all eternity and it is not a coincidence that he created fathers on this planet. He didn’t create fathers and then say “Oh, since there are fathers on earth I will call myself father so they can understand.” No, The Father was before creation and formed creation to reflect who he is. And he is merciful and gracious enough to allow us to bear his name in our own fatherhood.
Those of us who are privileged and blessed enough to have children take on one of the names of God himself, and we should not do so lightly. Who we are as fathers will be the starting point for how our children understand God. We will color the lenses through which they see him. If we are harsh and mean then when they hear that God is our Father they will assume that he is harsh as well. If we are gracious and loving then they will naturally assume God is a loving Father as well.
Although I fail often, I try to bear this in mind as I determine how to deal with my own children. I want them to know the Father who loved the world so much that he gave is only Son to die on the cross for their sins. I want them to not be hindered by my performance as Father, but to be encouraged to peace when they think of God as Father.
There are many things we men steward in this life, our time, money and talent, but none of them are as important as stewarding the name and reputation of God the Father.
Fatherhood is not simply controlling your children or having them do well in school. But, it is the intentional communication of the Gospel through our words and actions.
Let’s face it, this time of year even the best of us have a hard time fighting off Christmas materialism. Christians have often allowed the secular marketing powers to dictate what is means to celebrate Christmas. Whether that is buying the newest and greatest toy for our kids (or ourselves) or forgetting what it is we are really celebrating.
I want to put out a warning to us all, including myself to guard our hearts and direct them to the real purpose of the season. Do I love the lights, the songs, the traditions of Christmas time? Yes, I love seeing them through my kids eyes and seeing them anew myself. I love even more when those traditions push us toward Christ and away from the values of our secular society.
Think about how you celebrate Christmas and what is communicates to your family and those around you. We celebrate advent, a church period starting at the end November and ending on Christmas. Advent means arrival and we do things during this time to help our family remind ourselves of the significance of Jesus birth. We have never done the Santa thing (we do love St. Nick). We give gifts not based on good works, but on grace. We have made sure our kids realize that this isn’t a time to “be good” but to realize you are bad and God loved you regardless and sent in son to die for you. We remind them of this with a Christmas Eve birthday cake for Jesus.
We don’t want our girls to look at this as a jackpot time for themselves, but as a time of thankfulness and giving. We don’t buy a lot, but maybe more than many. We make sure they spend their own money to buy for each other and the girls we sponsor through Compassion International. I hope to protect them, at least a little, from the materialism that is so prevalent this time of year. Do we do it right? Not sure, but we are being intentional in our approach to the holiday. Being intentional and not allowing this time to run a muck is a great first step to fighting off Christmas Materialism.
How do you guide your children and yourselves through this holy time of the year?
How do you help your kids manage money? This is an article where I don’t think I have the one right answer. My girls are still young and have trouble understanding the value of money. We have tried a few things to help them get the concept, but I think these ideas are all part of the whole and not magic cures in and of themselves.
My wife and I have been fairly open about how money works and the value of it. (Although because kids talk I still haven’t told them how much I make.) We explain that everything costs money and how much. I explain that God has blessed me with a job to be able to pay for our home and our food. We tell them how we give to the church regularly and the other ministries we sponsor. My wife takes them shopping and they understand the cost of items. When they ask why things cost money I explain how capitalism should work and how it should be a win-win for everyone. They have a few business ideas I need to encourage because of these conversations and a few episodes of Shark Tank.
Well they work for it. They earn tickets for doing their chores which can be traded in for money or screen time. Their money is divided into a three part bank for giving, spending and saving. Any money is spending is theirs to do with that they please. (Although it is really hard when they want to buy crap.) Saving money must be targeted to a larger purchase they are working towards. Their giving must be directed outside of our home to church or to something else like the girls we sponsor through compassion international.
This is hopefully setting a pattern in their life. They are able to save money and delay gratification. They love to give money to good causes and have even thought of a few creative causes on their own. This is great because it gets them thinking about someone besides themselves.
You remember the saying, you can lead a horse to water? We show our kids the wise choices and explain them to them as best we can but we still let them make bad choices. “You can buy ice cream from the truck or you can buy a whole box from the store at the same price.” It seems to be working more and more as our older daughter is talking to us about her thought process and the smarter choices. I am sure they won’t always make the right choices but who does? We have let them suffer the consequences of their bad habits so they will hopefully learn a lesson down the road.
Did you parents do anything to help you understand money? What worked what didn’t work? What will you do with your kids? I really want to know because I don’t have the answers on this one.
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Teaching kids about money through a gospel lens is is something I am still working on figuring out. Our daughters 7 and 5 are still learning how to count money let alone spend it. However, I want them to understand early how money plays a role in our life. I want them to see Christ as sufficient and to not think money will fulfill their life. It shouldn’t be that hard right?
But, as I researched some articles to write this I discovered something. Most of the articles I found from big time Christian resources were no different the advice you would read from secular sources: Teach them to save early, teach them how interest works against you, make them earn their money so they understand the value of it and show them how to spend it properly. The only thing that set them apart from secular resources was talk of the tithe.
In their book Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson say, and I am paraphrasing because for the life of me I can’t find the quote, “If your parenting isn’t any different than a Jew, Muslim or a moral humanist you are not parenting as a Christian.” We can have all the steps and rules we want when it comes to our money and we will only create little pharisees. Our parenting, in every way, should always call us back to the cross and the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Honestly, I started to write this article as a to-do list just like the ones I read.. That is why I was so irritated by what I found when doing my research. There are already tons of those articles out there here are a couple:
But, like so many of our sermons these articles assume the gospel instead of preaching it. The gospel calls us to give as we have been freely given. I believe the gospel calls us not to be selfish with out money. The Gospel calls us to give what we have cheerfully and sacrificially. The Gospel calls us to make Jesus the center of our life and live like he is completely sufficient. The question is how to do instill those principles in our children when we are living like it isn’t true. We work hard to get more to keep up with our neighbors and perhaps to give more but only to “sanctify the rest” so we can feel good about spending it however WE want.
Even by following a list of to-do’s, like the ones above, we need to be careful that we are not teaching our children to rely solely on their own wisdom to provide for all their needs, lest when financial trouble befall them they blame God because they feel like they followed all “His rules” and it didn’t work. Then God becomes a liar in their eyes because they equate good financial advice with the gospel.
Those of us who sinfully find our security in money love to look at the book of Acts and brush off the “socialist” lifestyle they lived as being simply a description of how they lived and not instructional as to how Christians are to live. However, giving statistics of Christians bear out that we have a lot to learn from those in the early church.
Maybe I will write a list of ideas on the practical side later because I do believe there is a need for that , right now I feel like the church needs to turn its eyes back on the cross when it comes to money. I know I do.
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